Toke Makinwa has done it again. The popular media personality, actress, and podcast host recently set social media on fire with her latest thoughts on relationships and age. During an episode of her popular show, Toke Moments, she dropped a bold statement that got millions of people talking across the internet.
She stated that women have no business getting married when they are in their 20s.
For many people, this advice came as a huge shock. For others, it felt like an honest truth that needed to be said out loud. In a world where society constantly pushes women to settle down as early as possible, Toke’s comments triggered intense conversations about marriage, personal growth, age, and independence.
At WhatsBuzzn, we love keeping you connected to the biggest conversations, trends, and pop culture news shaping our world today. When a topic like this starts trending, it is worth looking deeper into why it hit such a sensitive nerve.
Is Toke Makinwa right about early marriage? Should women wait until their 30s before saying “I do”? Let us break down everything she said, why her words matter, and what young women can learn from this viral debate.
What Did Toke Makinwa Actually Say?
During her podcast episode featuring reality TV star Tacha, Toke Makinwa did not hold back her feelings. She spoke directly about the dangers of rushing into a permanent life decision when you are still trying to figure out who you are as a person.
Here is what Toke had to say on the matter:
“Women have no business getting married in their 20s. You don’t even know yourself yet. Those who did are regretting it now. Even those who are still married, if they are being honest, will tell you that they shouldn’t have rushed it.”
Her guest, Tacha, quickly agreed with the idea and shared a famous saying passed down from her mother:
“My mum says marriage is like an institution. Those inside want to get out, those outside can’t wait to get in.”
The statement immediately sparked a massive debate across various social platforms, as reported by major news outlets like Vanguard News and Daily Post Nigeria. Supporters argued that her advice is realistic for modern women who want to build careers and emotional stability first. On the other hand, critics felt that age is just a number and that plenty of people build successful marriages in their early 20s.
Toke Makinwa’s Personal Journey: Lessons From Her Past
To understand why Toke Makinwa holds this view so strongly, you have to look at her own life story. She is not speaking from a place of theory. She is speaking from real personal experience.
Toke has been very open about her past relationships over the years. She admitted that she spent almost her entire 20s focused on just one man and one relationship. Looking back, she expressed regret over spending those crucial years locked into one person instead of exploring her options and focusing on her own individual growth.
She explained that her 30s were the most challenging years of her life in terms of love, but they were also the most rewarding for her career and financial growth.
In her 30s, she focused heavily on her career. She built her brand, established successful businesses, gained financial freedom, and learned what she truly wants in a partner. According to Toke, if she had been married in her 20s without discovering herself first, she might have lost her identity completely.
Her journey shows us why she believes women should prioritize personal growth before bringing the responsibility of a marriage into their lives.
Why Your 20s Are Designed for Self-Discovery
Your 20s are a unique decade in your life. It is the time when you move away from childhood and step into adulthood. But stepping into adulthood does not mean you automatically have everything figured out.
In fact, most people in their 20s are still figuring out basic things:
- What kind of career do I actually want?
- What are my core personal values?
- How do I handle money, stress, and relationships?
- What makes me happy as an individual?
When you get married very early, you are making a lifelong commitment to another person before you have finished answering these fundamental questions about yourself.
People change significantly between the age of 20 and the age of 30. Your taste in music might change, your career goals might change, and most importantly, what you need in a life partner will likely change too.
If you get married at 22, you might wake up at 32 and realize that you and your partner have grown into two completely different people who want totally different things out of life.
Building Career and Financial Independence First
One of the strongest arguments in favor of waiting to get married is financial independence. Being financially stable before getting married gives you power, security, and peace of mind.
When a woman enters a marriage with her own money and career, she enters as an equal partner. She does not have to rely on anyone else for her basic needs, survival, or self-esteem.
In the modern digital era, there are more ways than ever for young women to achieve financial freedom early in life. For example, many young creators are exploring income streams like YouTube automation to build passive income businesses online. Others are taking advantage of new trends in technology and AI to start remote careers, launch digital products, or offer freelance services globally.
Taking the time in your 20s to focus on income, skill development, and financial literacy builds a safety net that protects you for the rest of your life.
When you know you can stand on your own two feet financially, you marry because you want to be with someone, not because you need someone to survive.
The Heavy Weight of Societal Expectations
If waiting until your late 20s or 30s to get married makes so much sense, why is there still so much pressure to marry early?
The answer lies in deep-rooted societal and cultural expectations. In many cultures around the world, a woman’s success is still unfairly judged by her marital status. From a young age, many girls are taught that marriage is the ultimate goal in life.
Family members often start asking questions once a woman turns 25:
- “When are you bringing someone home?”
- “Your biological clock is ticking!”
- “Don’t you want to settle down soon?”
This kind of pressure creates fear. Women start feeling like they are falling behind if they do not have a ring on their finger by a certain age. As a result, many rush into marriages with partners who are not right for them, simply to satisfy family or societal expectations.
Toke Makinwa’s advice challenges this outdated mindset. She encourages women to remove the timer and focus on living life on their own terms.
Can Early Marriage Work? The Counter-Argument
While Toke Makinwa’s points are valid for many, it is also important to look at the other side of the debate. Is getting married in your 20s always a mistake?
The simple answer is no. Plenty of couples get married in their early or mid-20s and go on to enjoy happy, lifelong marriages.
Early marriage can work well when both partners share high levels of emotional maturity, strong communication skills, and common values. When two young people are willing to grow together, support each other’s dreams, and adapt as they change, early marriage can be a beautiful journey.
However, the key word here is maturity. Age does not always guarantee maturity, but life experience usually does. Rushing into marriage just because you feel old at 24 is very different from marrying young because you have found a genuinely mature, supportive partner with whom you share a strong foundation.
Toke’s statement is not meant to condemn every single person who married young. Rather, it serves as a warning against rushing into a lifelong commitment before you truly know who you are.
Practical Lessons for Women Navigating Their 20s
If you agree with Toke Makinwa or hold a completely different view, her comments still offer valuable life lessons. Here are key practical steps every young woman can take to make the most of her 20s:
- Prioritize Self-Discovery: Spend time understanding your likes, dislikes, boundaries, and long-term goals. Figure out who you are when nobody else is watching.
- Build Financial Security: Focus on your education, career, or business. Learn how to save, invest, and manage your money independently.
- Travel and Experience New Things: Try new hobbies, meet different people, and explore new places. Expanding your worldview makes you a more grounded and complete person.
- Learn Emotional Maturity: Work on your emotional health. Learn how to handle conflict, express your feelings clearly, and set healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
- Do Not Rush into Commitments: Never let fear, age, or pressure from relatives drive your decisions about marriage. Take your time to choose a partner who truly respects and supports you.
The Role of Pop Culture and Media in Shaping Marriage Views
Conversations like the one started by Toke Makinwa on Toke Moments show how pop culture shapes modern views on relationships. In the past, people rarely questioned traditional timelines for marriage and family. Today, celebrities and media personalities use their platforms to talk openly about relationship struggles, divorce, personal growth, and independence.
These open discussions normalize alternative paths in life. They show young women that it is completely okay if your 20s are dedicated to school, business, travel, or career growth instead of wedding planning.
By sharing her personal regrets and life lessons, Toke helps remove the shame that women often feel when they are not married by a certain age.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What exactly did Toke Makinwa say about women getting married in their 20s?
Toke Makinwa stated on her podcast that women have no business getting married in their 20s because they are still discovering themselves at that age. She noted that many who marry young end up regretting it later when they mature and realize how much they have changed.
Is Toke Makinwa against marriage altogether?
No, Toke Makinwa is not against marriage. She believes in love and healthy relationships, but she advocates for timing, self-awareness, and financial independence before making a lifelong commitment.
What should young women focus on during their 20s instead of getting married?
Young women should focus on personal growth, higher education, career development, financial independence, emotional maturity, and discovering their true passions.
Can a marriage in your 20s still be successful?
Yes, early marriages can be very successful if both partners are emotionally mature, communicate effectively, and are committed to growing together through life’s changes.
How does financial independence impact a relationship?
Financial independence gives you confidence and security. It ensures that you enter a partnership as an equal decision-maker rather than out of financial necessity or dependence.
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Final Thoughts
Toke Makinwa’s claim that women have no business getting married in their 20s may sound intense, but it carries a powerful message. At its core, her message is about self-love, self-discovery, and patience.
Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make in your lifetime. There is no award for rushing into it early, and there is no shame in taking your time to build yourself first. Your 20s offer a rare window of time to explore who you are, build your dreams, and establish your independence.
What are your thoughts on Toke Makinwa’s advice? Do you think getting married in your 20s is too early, or does it depend entirely on the individual?
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